Resilience is not an inherent trait, but a skill that can be developed.
It’s not wired into certain people who bounce back fast, who keep going when shit hits the fan. It’s something you build, sometimes painfully, through direct contact with difficulty.
I see resilience as the outcome of doing hard things.
It’s important to experience discomfort and adversity, as these experiences build the resilience needed to face challenges.
My first two years as a solopreneur coach were so challenging and rewarding too, like most radical career changes, and I want to share two of the biggest learnings that increased my resilience.
One is about money and the other is about results.
I struggled with heavy thoughts and feelings about money and results.
I felt anxious in waves.
I wanted to have paying clients and to make a decent, or more than decent living from the first few months.
It didn’t happen like that. I used savings, I made some money, but not glamorous amounts.
I oscillated between feeling grateful for making the money I made and anxious about the uncertain future.
Still, I continued.
I took action, I learned more about money and how I can make it work for me.
I analysed my options well, based on multiple criteria when I decided to hire a mentor, or a coach.
I also struggled with the expectation to see fast results. They did not come as fast as I would have liked!
I’ve done hundreds of actions, perhaps even thousands.
There were a few obvious results for some of those actions. The rest were not.
Still, I focused on the process.
I’ll tell you, it was hard to focus on the process for someone who wants to see results quickly.
All of these changes contributed to increasing my resilience.
I didn’t do it alone and it saved me time. I’ve had and have my own coaches and mentors, I built (and am still building) my network, which has helped immensely.
Resilience didn’t take me back to T0, where I started before the tough situation. It got me to T1, it made me better at having patience and perseverance, it made me focused to learn what I don’t know and apply it in my business.
It made me find solutions.
So I welcome hard things, ‘cause I know they build resilience.
What can you do to shake off the victim mentality and build yours?
