You usually want to end your work day and mentally disconnect from work, but you find yourself thinking thoughts like:
“I’m gonna fall behind if I don’t finish this task.”
“What if I respond to a few more emails, so I have a balanced day tomorrow?”
“What are they going to think of me if I don’t answer this email I just got? I need to reply immediately.”
If that sounds like you, it might be because you grew up getting good grades, awards, or you were compared to other pupils or students who were “better”. Getting these good results also got you validation. So, you learned to associate results and doing things with appreciation and, perhaps, love.
Now, when it comes to your adult life and your career, receiving appreciation, hearing things like: “you’re doing great”, determines you to put more effort in, to work harder.
I know that reels me in many times.
The doer becomes your identity and that makes it hard to disconnect from work. Stopping can feel like failure. Many high performers overwork, overcommit, overthink and have people-pleasing behaviours.
Ahem, ask me how I know.
But the thing is, doing these things over and over lead to poorer performance, potential health problems and estranged relationships.
In my experience, when it comes to overdoing and overthinking, what helps is to:
- take a breath. Pause for a few moments to figure out what’s going on in your head. Then identify your fears. What do you fear that makes you cling to your work laptop?
- aim for constructive things like: focused work while at work, taking intentional breaks and disconnecting when you’re outside of work, so that you have time and energy for experiences, movement, a social life, a relationship, your pets or time with family.
- let go of things that are outside of your control. Easier said than done, I know (I’ve been there). Overthinking about the past, what you “should have said,” or worrying about the future drains your energy. By focusing on what’s within your control, you can redirect your energy more effectively.
And setting these boundaries isn’t about saying no, or being flaky. For high performers like you, it’s about communicating what you can handle while adding value.
This means getting your priorities straight and smoothly transitioning from work mode to free time.
When you combine effort with downtime, you create the resilience to see setbacks more lightly and adapt to challenges. I’m saying this for myself too!
Strengthening your mindset is essential to career success, whether that means better performance, a promotion, a career transition or moving into entrepreneurship.
A purposeful career can actually give you the energy for awesome stuff outside of work.
So, I’ll leave you with these two questions:
What brings you fulfilment in life and in your career?
Why?
